~INTRODUCTION FROM YOURS TRULY~

It’s Summer Time in Little Jimmy and you know what that means? Well if you don’t I thought I would go ahead and tell you. For most kids that attend Jackson High this means:

 

A) Getting away from annoying teachers and administrative staff that make you want to be home schooled, [Who really wants that? I can barely stand my parents nagging about the condition of my room as it is]

 

B) It’s party time. No sports, no after school clubs, and nothing to get in the way of me and that keg! I’m ready to cause some drama and get into all sorts of trouble and hopefully somebody will be right there with me.

 

C) It’s time to pick the perfect get away. I’ve already got a few destinations in mind of what I want to do before returning to school and thanks to my college fund I can do it. Who really needs four years of school anyway?

 

D) The sky is the limit: we live in Little Jimmy where most people believe that nothing ever happens. But if you’re smart…you know that’s not the truth. We have enough drama to last anybody a lifetime. And I love adding to the drama which is why I’m leaving my morals in my locker for the summer. Wanna be a follower and do the same?

 

With the Graduating seniors preparing to pack their shit up and get the hell out of town to face the world, the old DJL writer goes with them. Even though they will be missed [we all know a few people are celebrating because they were pulled out of the closet], it’s time to move the hell on and talk about what’s been going on since that final school bell rang and the doors to the school were locked. I’ll introduce myself at the end.

 

~GOSSIP FOR THE MASSES, STUFF THE PEOPLE DESERVE TO KNOW~

[x] How awesome would it be to get pulled over by a hot cop and suddenly he has to pat you down or strip search or something crazy. [Oh come on, if you are reading this-you’re a pervert too] Well it seems that my dream might just come true! Little Jimmy Sheriff’s Department just got the hottest cop man-boy I’ve ever seen. BRADLEY MAXWELL, god. Even his name is hot. From what I can get from my informant at the department he’s so far been connected to ALEXIS WESTERLY [although who hasn’t had a piece of that-alright. I haven’t. Call me baby!], KOURTNEY TRUE [home invasion my ass. Has anyone ever heard of role play? You dirty girl], and MADISON EVERS [eh, she’s alright looking for someone who sits at a desk all day, sorry babe], and of course me! [Alright so maybe that’s not a 100% true but I’ve definitely started speeding more in hopes of getting pulled over] I’m excited to see what happens with BRAD, hopefully he picks me! I’ll be the one hitting on you the second my window gets rolled down!

 

[x] So everybody has heard of SuperCouples. They are supposed to be the people that stay together forever. Like Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston or Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez or – wait…OH so this was supposed to happen! It seems that ETHAN TURNER and OLIVIA DUNSTAN have finally decided to call it quits. [And every boy at Jackson High squealed with happiness] I’m not sure what happened to break up the happy couple. Maybe it had something to do with the death of MARKUS ANDERS? Maybe ETHAN wasn’t able to cope? Or maybe OLIVIA has just embraced the whore we knew she would become? I don’t know all the facts I know it happened and I know that she better not have broken my little ETHANS heart anymore than his heart condition already has. <3 you boo.

 

[x] Alright so stay with me as I try to sort through the drama that is Little Jimmy greatest obsession. I swear these four are like a soap opera and OMFG I love them. So these kids have known each other since they were little but just recently they caught my eye during the female ‘Sell your body for charity auction’ [which I would have done if I wasn’t scared that every guy would bid on me and leave the other girls as pity dates] My new favorite bitches are: ARIANNA NOBLES, GABRIEL CHAMBERS, TRAVIS CARMICHAEL and ZOE WYATT. So let’s see! ARIANNA and GABE are together [which is weird because I definitely got some sparks between her and JAMES JACKSON V during the auction.] They’re cute and whatever. But they are best friends with TRAVIS CARMICHAEL, who is basically going to end up fixing cars and fueling my car repairman fantasy later in life. And cute little ZOE is their wildcard. I haven’t really heard who she likes but I’m going to say that it’s TRAVIS. Which would be fine – if I wasn’t destined to be with him. But it seems like ALEXIS WESTERLY was able to spread her le- I mean get the welcome committee together before I could. It seems that TRAVIS recently appeared on stage dancing exotically. Wanna know the worst part…I MISSED IT! bitches. Of course it would be the one night I stayed at home to watch movies. Who would have known that TRAVIS would know his way around a big, shiny, pole? OH WAIT! I would. I mean he is best friends with GABE CHAMBERS, that has to mean something right? A little boy on boy? I could go for that!

 

[x] During my years of reading the other DJL blogs I’ve heard of some awkward group action. But I think this is the first time I’ve heard of a group of freshmen hooking up with each other. [I know, I feel really dirty just thinking about this]. Well it seems that the saying ‘Old Habits Die Hard’ is true or at least in this case friendships that can be meaningless flings die hard. From what I can gather a certain Jackson Cousin, KELLER ANDREWS, was seen sneaking out of her house and entering the backyard of NATHANIEL LEXINGTON. Just them being together is mind blowing to me. Comic book nerd and future Mermaid bitch together? In a tree house? It’s very Disney to me. But to make things even crazier: they were joined by ALEXANDER COATES, best friend to NATHAN and supposed enemy to KELLER. Two comic book nerds with their own special version of Wonder Woman who would have thought? LEIGH WATSON must be dead from a heart attack as she reads this. [I do love servicing the public. And yes I know how that sounds and I love it] Now if those three were not an odd enough couple. It seems that LEIGH BRAYDON, resident brainiac was in on a deal to purchase young KELLER away from NATHAN during the charity auction. So either we’ve got two guys hooking up together with two girls that hook up together…or…we’ve got a foursome. Is that a term? I’m not sure when we cross the line of group sex? Oh well! I’m glad these freshmen are making enough drama to keep me interested.

 

[x] Little Jimmy is still trying to put itself back together after the flood water nearly took all my favorite bitches with it. Everyone is looking for reason behind the madness but it seems like BLAIR HARRISON is taking a little bit more time than everyone else. It’s common knowledge that she was engaged to one of the limp bodies now six feet under. I’ve heard that it takes time to heal from that kind of stuff, but come on! You’re hot and young! Move on before your body wastes away and you end up like RHONE. Bitter, alone and bitching at high school kids for eight hours a day….God I hate that woman. You know she once told me my shirt was too shor- Wait this is about BLAIR. I’m waiting for the moment that the girl snaps and chases somebody down with a chain saw. Now that’s gossip.

 

[x] Some girls have cheerleading, some girls have soft ball…CECILIA MATERSON leads a really crazy group of students against destructive decisions. Everyone knows what happened to her sister but COME ON!!! If I want to drink and get on my bike and go, it’s my decision. I know for a fact that this Queen is going to piss off a few people this summer and I’m looking forward to the sparks. Although if she preaches to me…I will claw her eyes out with my keys. <3.

 

[x] At the Little Jimmy Country Club one of the waiters tipped me off by sending me a photo of JAMES JACKSON V and COOPER DUNSTAN talking by the pool. It seems as though the graduated boy was attempting to teach the younger boy how to pick up women. Let’s examine JACKSONS track record: the only real relationship he’s ever had is with JENNY SLOAN [and from what I hear they’re a little rocky at the moment]. I could name off the list of girls that the V has slept with and then cut out but that would take way too much space on my blog. It would be like me attempting to tell you how many people ALEXIS WESTERLY or KELEIGH CARMICHAEL had gotten in bed. I would need days.

 

[x] We’ve had some really odd couple walk the streets of Little Jimmy but I think I have the greatest odd couple [and no it’s not JONATHAN MONTE and that 12 year old at the community pool] they are JULES BRENNAN and OLIVER BLOMQVIST. It seems like we have a case of mistaken identity but really it’s all about age. OLIVER might try to say that age is just a number – but the state of Texas doesn’t seem to agree. Gotta wait for the wine to be aged just enough before you cork her.

 

[x] With the FBI gone it seems like racial tension has already started to heat up. From what I can hear BRIE NSUNG had to deal with the snide comments from JAMES JACKSON V and his group of friends. Although I know it’s bad that she was assaulted – I have to say – I wouldn’t mind hanging out in the backseat of that car [if you know what I mean]. With all the drama going on, I have to remember: I need to make sure to keep an eye out for drama between the races. I can only hope that JAMES MITCHELLS and JULIETTE CROMWELL don’t get hurt before they can spend some time in a hot tub. [Just imagine the drama]

 

~EPILOGUE FROM YOURS TRULY~

I’ve stepped into some big shoes but I’m sure that I can keep the dream of the original DJL alive. I’m going to talk about myself before I introduce the revised rules for this year’s blog!!! I’m looking forward to seeing what happens with you bitches. When I took over the DJL I knew I wanted it to go in a new direction so I’ve changed the format and I’ve adopted a new name system, hopefully you will enjoy it as much as I do. I’m always looking for proof to support my theories. But then again…who really needs proof when your name is the DJL.

 

~RULES~

[x] I can see how many people visit my page a day and I know you read this. But I do enjoy hearing feedback from my loyal readers. If you see something or have proof of something send it to me. Maybe I will deem it necessary to have it on my page. I enjoy having some help so you hoes need to get off your asses and help me out!

 

[x] Depending on the information your name may or may not appear along with the tip you send. If I find it juicy enough I might let you take credit but most of the time I will leave your name out of the hint or tip that I report.

 

[x] Don’t be upset if you don’t see your news posted on my blog. Maybe I’m just waiting for the gossip to get hotter before taking it off the stove.

 

[x] If you see your name on my site, please don’t PM asking me to take you off. The world needs to know and I’m just giving the people what they want.

 

[x] Don’t waste your time trying to figure out who I am. I could be anyone. That girl sitting next to you in the computer lab, the guy who partners with you in Biology or the guy watching you strut around the pool. You have your secrets I have mine. <3

 

[x] Just like most people my mind changes and this is my blog. You need to check back constantly and send me PM's all the time so that I feel loved. <3 Anything and Everything on this page is subject to change.

 

 

“A little water never hurt anyone”

“Yeah but a lot can kill you”

 

Who would have thought that so close to graduation and summertime we would receive a natural disaster? I mean we live in Little Jimmy where this thing is never supposed to happen. Of course we read the statistics and we see the news of places that are hit with total destruction. But everyone always mutters the phrase ‘Like that would happen here’. Well bitches, IT DID HAPPEN HERE. There was no way to know that it was coming, it just happened. An act of nature. An act of a higher power. Whatever it was it left a major scar on this town and I’m not sure anyone really knows how deep the scar is. It’s going to run not just through this graduating class but through every group of kids that walk through the doors of Jackson High for the next twenty years.

I was supposed to create one last blog celebrating the end of the year. But instead, I was faced with a disturbing tip from my contacts at the hospital and city morgue. It seems that three bodies have already been discovered by the police. For the first time in my career as a news reporter I was conflicted. This was the body of a teacher found in the middle of nowhere. This wasn’t two kids screwing on the principals desk. This was the possibility of hearing that my brother or sister had been found. Or that my best friend’s car was found. But I muttered the phrase ‘acquiring minds want to know’, so I had them fax over the information.

 

 I'm certain that I will get a lot of hate mail for this, just like the last time I reported about someone dying. But I'm going to do it anyway, because I felt like it was better for the world to find out from me instead of a warped version that left out details from the newspaper. There were three bodies. One was found alone but the other two were together.

 

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…GOSSIP…

·          The body of an African American man was found in his car that was completely wrapped around a tree. It seems as though his car had gone off the road because of all the water and he died instantly. THE NAME WILL FOLLOW.

·          The other two bodies were found together in a car that belonged to the African American woman. I’m not sure why the pair were together (THE BITCH IN ME SAYS: THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN SCREWING AND GOT CAUGHT IN THE RAIN), but I have a feeling that she was trying to help him and they simple got washed off the bridge and pushed into the water. The man with her was a Jackson High student.

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…THE END…

 

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Alright all my pretty ones. I think this will keep you busy for the next few days. Like always if you know something I should know…definitely send it to me. Until next time

Alright so I just got some pretty great information…

And I knew that everyone online would be really upset if I hadn’t updated them with the update that I just received. Let’s cover what happened at prom this year. You would think that some guys got drunk, booty danced with a  few girls and got kicked out! But not only did that happen!!! But a few surprises occurred that even had me on the edge of my seat.

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…GOSSIP…

1.       They announced the Prom Court. J. Jackson, A. Cromwell, J. Emarine, and S. Winters. WHAT THE HELL? Can we not get something more than vanilla ice cream up in there? I mean we know the King and Princess are complete sluts! And we know that the Queen enjoys life in general as a winter wonderland…and we all know that I wouldn’t mind being in bed with the Prince but COME ON! Don’t we have something a bit more exciting than a bunch of kids that could have easily bought their crown? Urgh. NEXT YEAR I’M WINNING BITCHES!

2.       Now I know what you might be thinking…I didn’t vote for J. Jackson, how the hell did he win. (I know this because I was thinking the same thing…) Apparently the real winner, J. Dunstan wasn’t allowed to go to prom because he was caught in the baseball showers with A. Westerly. I KNOW. She was totally trying to shine his baseball bat. She would have completely succeeded and finally a Dunstan would have had their cherry popped…Had it not been for that HUGE COCKBLOCK. GOD I HATE THAT GUY! You know he once stopped me and S. Hafsie fr-. Wait nevermind that. Back to the real story. Apparently he walked in on my favorite baseball player and my favorite slut and stopped them from doing the dirty deed. I would have been pissed, I mean come on J. Dunstan was that close to get to bust a…you know…sucks for him. I guess it’s back to playing with his left mitt…

3.       It seems like a certain Jackson High Senior, J. Jackson V. Was found in the park and was rushed to the hospital. Apparently something happened to the boy out in the park. I’m not sure what exactly went down, but apparently he did. I checked out the scene all I saw was blood on the ground and shattered glass everywhere. Apparently whatever got to Jackson also got to his prized truck. For some reason I feel bad for the truck and I could care less about him…oh well. That’s what happens when you mess around in the park late at night. Moral Of The Story: Don’t fuck with mother nature!

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…SIGHTINGS…

1.It seems like Little Jimmy has a new slut in town…Looks like someone from D. and S. Fairchild’s past has recently walked back into town. I have a few cell phone pictures of the girl but I’m not really worried about her. I doubt she’s going to stay in town long. Maybe she was in for a booty call with D. Fairchild…or better yet…S. Fairchild. That’d be HOT.

2.Um, one of my sources sent me some weird information. It seems like after a night of partying with A. Westerly and E. Dempsey…O. Dunstan wasn’t acting like herself. I’m not sure what exactly happened but I hear that a group of guys in Little Jimmy are not happy about this at all. I need information about this one…I’m just a bit excited to see what happened. Hopefully it’s new worthy and she’s not upset that he tried to kiss her or something.

3.It seemed like there might be a party going down at the Mitchells house…somebody should keep me updated on this…I wouldn’t mind having a little fun with some good company.

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Alright all my pretty ones. I think this will keep you busy for the next few days. Like always if you know something I should know…definitely send it to me. Until next time

Prom is here again bitches. And being the wonderful goddess that I am…I decided to do my research and have this blog be all about the wonderful event that marks a cornerstone in our high school journey…Alright now that I’ve got all that bullshit out of the way…I can continue with my opinion. (Hopefully you won’t mind me giving advice about the event, I’ll assume not since your still reading) Alright I’m going to give a few tips to the guys and girls before I get to the GOSSIP. Yes I know I’m excited to expose some information that I’ve learned.

GUYS

-please don’t try and pull off a white tux…try and match what your date is wearing
-TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU PUT ON THE TUX…boys smell it’s been scientifically proven
-don’t go commando…you rent those tux’s who knows what other guy free balled in those things
-if you plan on having an after prom party with your date in your pants…WASH DOWN THERE…and use protection…don’t be stupid
-Don’t say the wrong name…
-Strap on a pair and dance with your date…don’t be a pansy bitch

GIRLS

-ANIMAL PRINT DRESSES ARE NOT CUTE
-bras and undergarments are totally optional for you… ;)
-if you plan on having an after prom party in a guys pants…WASH DOWN STAIRS…if I hear another comment about a guy sleeping with a girl and complaining about smelling fish I will kill someone…USE PROTECTION…unless your NASCARt…I’m still rooting for ya!
-if your date is random…don’t give up your stuff unless he brings money, gold, or stretch hummer limo
Alright now that’s out of the way…let’s see who is going with who to this gala event…

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…GOSSIP…

Because Prom is such a big deal I’m going to try something a  little bit different…

·         L. Hawthorne and B. Kione – big surprise there…although I was expecting something a bit different out of Kione…possibly making up with J. Jackson and them going together…Oh well…L. Hawthorne you better look FIERCE or B. Kione will move on to the next big thing that gives him a smile.

·         A. Westerly and J. Dunstan – this actually surprised me…for a second there I thought that J. Dunstan was so far in a closet that he couldn’t see the sun. It surprised me when I heard about the cougar that is A. Westerly taking an interest in the boy. Who would have thought…a baseball player that doesn’t enjoy playing with the Pitchers Balls…

·         O. Dunstan and E. Turner – all I gotta say is…I hope that bitch don’t get a black eye…again that’s spousal abuse

·         A. Jackson and A. Fairchild – DAMN baby Jackson snagged the new kid. Although I assumed she would either stay at home and dance in the mirror to Hannah Montana or fawn over R. McGovern.

·         N.  Smith and D. Kione – Wow…this couple is going to have more haters than George W. Bush would have in Atlanta. Oh well…I’m pretty sure N. Smith will be packing razor blades in her underwear…she is one girl that I don’t want as an enemy. Love you boo!!!

·         A. Woods and R. McGovern – Sweetheart…all I gotta say is don’t be surprised if you wake up and the bed is empty…that happened to me that asshole McGovern was gone when the sun came up…but a booty call is always fun. If you do get bored…give me a call boo <3

·         S. Rookwood and F. Torres – I’m not sure what to make out of this…does he like younger woman? Does she go for older guys? Not really sure but I’m looking forward to seeing who goes down first…

·         S. Winters and W. Thomas -  I think I spoke too soon…with this couple it’s a toss up on who will go down first…HA

·         J. Sloan and J. Jackson – OKAY WE ALL GET IT. Your Miss Sunshine and your reformed Boyfriend…I’m waiting to see what happens when another girl tempts you more than just make out sessions…

·         A. Kim and M. Park – finally our Prom won’t be a bunch of white kids with no rhythm…thank you…

·         E. Phillips and STAG – It’s okay babe…just remember the crazy bitches who go stag to prom always end up killing someone later in life…

·         B. Harrison and M. Anders – since when has she been old enough to go to Prom? Oh no! B. Harrison be careful if you get called up for Prom Queen that has pigs blood written all over it…we don’t need Jackson High turned into another crazy bitch kills the school movie

·         L. Rhimes and B. Morgan – You know I could see myself going with B. Morgan to the Prom but since he didn’t ask me…I guess that means I get to watch from affair and hope his date spills punch down her dress…don’t worry L. Rhimes if you can’t handle it I’ll accidently do it for you…

·         Safia Kione and Zach Vogel – my only question…will he wear that banana head band to the prom? Or will his flower for S. Kione be yellow? If so…I hate you both.

·         K. Caldwell and N. Clark – N. Clark my only advice…don’t go for her danger zone(s) her father will shoot you or send you to a maximum security prison where your danger zone(s) will be touched.

·         H. Patterson and P. Daniels – P. Daniels if things don’t work out for you at the end of the night…can I have H. Patterson?

·         B. Nsung and S. Sivosky – this is a rag tag team up…oh well who says random hook ups are a bad thing. Knowing a Nsung she will have a few positions to teach the boy by the end of the night…

·         S. Anderson and J. Emarine – Who wouldda thunk it…I thought J. Emarine would just take his sister to prom…KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY…worst motto ever…

·         C. Cho and K. Minh – I have so much respect for you two. Power to you, if you need some help I’ll come running with a stun gun and brass knuckles…

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…SIGHTINGS…

1.S. Fairchild and D. Fairchild laying pool side…my informant says they were talking entrances and exits out of Jackson High…Prom crashers? I think so.

2. A. Cromwell walking pass a dress shop and not even looking at the dresses…seems like somebody is spending Prom Night with Ben and Jerry’s. Sorry bitch.

3.J. Jackson, J. Sloan., and A. Fairchild sharing a casual lunch at Jackson High until the subject of school cliques came up. ‘I’m sorry Mr. Devall but I don’t think we have a clique problem here at North Shore’ thank you Mean Girls…

4.Guys and Girls checking out early to get their hair did and their nails done…it’ll take more than to help fix some of the students at Jackson High…

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Alright all my pretty ones. I think this will keep you busy for the next few days. Like always if you know something I should know…definitely send it to me. Until next time

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So I've been taking some time to myself. Those damn college applications are finally complete and I'll be able to take some time to piece back my site....and it seems that Little Jimmy has some new residents...I cant wait to do some digging and find out what makes them tick...Look out for me bitches...

…WERE THEY RAN OUT OF TOWN? OR DID THEY CHOOSE TO LEAVE?...

Night all my wonderful little tax payers. This is DJL. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of the residents of Little Jimmy. It seems that me expanding my offices to include the adults could not have come at a better time. I may have just updated my blog but this drama COULD NOT wait…let’s get the ball rolling.

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…GOSSIP…

Spotted. Boy Wonder packing his bags and leaving Little Jimmy with his father. Oh yes. It seems that the two Daddy Cherub, Boy Wonder, and Baby Cherub have decided that with everything that has been going on that it was better to skip town. And thanks to Religious Boy I have the inside scoop. It seems that Daddy Cherub has decided that it was better to leave town then to have the police investigating his personal family finances and other personal documents. It seems that maybe the police investigation are not completely over…who knows…Daddy Cherub might end up right next to two other Little Jimmy men. Now along for the ride is Boy Wonder. It seems that our local high school senior has decided that life in Little Jimmy being a high school father was not something that he wanted to be. Yes. That’s right folks. According to my sources it seems that Boy Wonder has finally planted his wild oats. It seems that dead beat dad is his new title. Sorry NASCARt maybe next time you will get knocked up before the daddy leaves town. With big brother and daddy gone, it seems that Baby Cherub has opted to get outta town. Was she the one that was knocked up? Oh the drama. <3.

 

It seems that another Jackson High student has bit the dust. Our very own Drama Girl has left our fair town and found herself in New York. The Word was she became a chorus girl with the show RENT. Yeah right. I found evidence that she is sleeping with a 34 man who does the lighting for RENT. Get it show girl. I’ll miss you. You dirty hoe. <3.

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…SIGHTINGS…

Just four people slutting out of town. Oh well. That means that everyone else left will have to pick up the pace and get to sleeping around. By all means. SLUT IT UP!!!

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Alright all my pretty ones. I think this will keep you busy for the next few days. Like always if you know something I should know…definitely send it to me. Until next time

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…NICKNAME KEY…

No New Nicknames this Time Sweet Cheeks

…THE TIME FOR INTRODUCTIONS IS OVER…

Good Morning Little Jimmy. DJL here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of the residents of Jackson High. It seems that as the school year progresses the drama and issues seem to only increase. I can honestly say that I am very proud of the girls and boys of our fair town because none of them seem to want to go down without a fight. (Unless you’re one of the hoes and then you go down willingly). The way life is now, I’ve only done half my job. I think it’s about time that I dip into the world of Adulthood. That’s right bitches, DJL is expanding it’s territory and now I’m going to be watching not only the teenagers but the adults of Little Jimmy. Now this is going to be a lot of work to cover and I just might be looking for a partner in crime. If you’re interested you should definitely send me a message. I’ll be looking for your application…I’ll need sources of your take downs and maybe a few references. <3. Now onto the good stuff. My favorite part of the job.

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…GOSSIP…

I. Now it seems that someone has finally taken a page out of my book and decided to help me out a little. So I’m going to share this little piece of information. God love the people who enjoy causing a little drama…

‘DJL,
I have a scoop for you…
Spotted William, Skank Nurse, and Holivia in a lovers spat. Who knew love triangles could be this fun? After walking in on William and Skank Nurse in a comprising position it seems poor Holivia couldn't handle it a ran out, but that is not where the excitement ends. There seems to be more going on between Holivia and William, because the man whore blackbeard  pushed Skank Nurse off to follow Holivia and explain his actions. After a few words and a slap across the face Skank Nurse made her second entrance only to be taken down by Holivia. I know we have seen both girls around school sporting black eyes, but who knows the real story? I do... Holivia tackled Skank Nurse after throwing the first punch. Who knew virgins could be so fun?
Anonymous.’

Gotta love a good bitch who enjoys telling the world of the important issues. Screw over population and poverty. Who doesn’t love a good cat fight and from the point of Holivia, I bet she loves seeing Skank Nurse walking around school. I think it’s great seeing two bitches fight it out.

 

II. How odd is it that when someone becomes popular by association they tend to try and bring people into the ‘fold’. It seems that McSteamy, who became popular by being friends with Religious Boy, has decided that life is better when you sleep with as many people as you can. It seems that he has added Georgia Girl to his ‘to do’ list. (I hear that nearly all the Jackson sisters are on that list and more recently that a certain girlfriend might have been kicked off that list. Sucks to be her. I actually think that he put me on that. Too bad that won’t happen) Do I want to see Georgia Girl and McSteamy together…not really those kids would have a lot of issues…actually that’s good for business.

 

III. This is some ADULT CONTENT so if adults bore you…you might want to skip over this next paragraph. Of course everyone remembers the death of our local (hot) teacher and the conviction of two community leaders but has anyone really looked into the lives of the adults left behind? It might be sudden but I’ll be damned if I let those adults live their lives with out their drama gracing my blog. Now let me see…where to begin. It seems that Bastian the Krab has returned to Little Jimmy after years in college. Word has it that our dear Mayors Aid has decided to hook up with random girls. One in particular was on the hood of a car in the parking lot of Montanas…someone care to explain that to Kit Kat? (Oh wait she gets mentioned in just a second)

 

IV. NASCARt seems to have gotten exactly what she wanted. Too bad what she wanted was NOT what Religious Boy wanted. It seems that NARCARt and Boy Wonder have decided to..consummate their friendship. Can you believe that she let Boy Wonder pop her cherry? Oh well she’s not his first and certainly not his last.

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…SIGHTINGS…

I. It seems that our towns resident MILF (Mother I’d Like to Flock) was seen leaving a certain clinic. No, she was not leaving Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous…she was actually leaving the planned Parenthood Clinic. Wait, do they call it the Planned Parenthood when your ‘junk’ is supposed to be shutting down. Sorry Kit Kat. The world needed to know…hopefully your hubby won’t mind having a third mouth to feed.

 

II. Not one kid in Little Jimmy can say no to a good party. And I know that a certain Lifer’s birthday is coming just around the corner. It seems that Religious Boy has started planning his big birthday bash. And from what I hear it’s going to be a White Party. Who will be there? I know I will and I know that I will be hooking up with somebody. Perhaps it’ll be you Birthday Boy…<3

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Alright all my pretty ones. I think this will keep you busy for the next few days. Like always if you know something I should know…definitely send it to me. Until next time

…NICKNAME KEY…

Catherine Cromwell :: Kit Kat

Sebastian Cromwell :: Bastian the Krab

Alexandra Woods :: Georgia Girl

…THE TIME FOR INTRODUCTIONS IS OVER…

So I was sitting by the pool, reading a few gossip magazines, and drinking martini’s…I know how Sex and the City of me….But I realized that it had been a few days since I checked my inbox. I figured that all you lazy bitches were not going to help me…BUT damn did you all prove me wrong. I have to say…this time I can actually say some of you bitches helped me out. Oh and if any of you hot guys or sexy women want to join me for martini’s…just get in touch with me. You know where to find me.

…GOSSIP…

         i.            i. OMG. Okay so I’m not sure if you know about one of the girls that goes to Jackson High BUT she grew up in a very interesting home. I mean you know how you have a mom and a dad. Well it seems that Kilroy grew up with two dads or two mom’s. I can’t remember which set of parents it was…my mind was thinking about having two hot dads or two sexy moms. Could you imagine having Johnny Deep and Matt Damon as your parents. Crap I just wet myself. I heard that Religious Boy wasn’t too thrilled about having these ‘unclean’ individuals living in Little Jimmy. I mean come on Religious Boy they have to take baths…they are gay and they hate being dirty…HA HA HA. Love you bitch!

ii. So I just realized that I have never talked about my favorite Kione. Air Budd!!! God that sexy Air Budd and his twin brother! Alright well I do have some drama that kinda made me upset. Apparently since the school decided to put up this Jackson High C-Box, the slut factor has started to rise. Now everyone should know by now that I love me a good girl gone slutty…but COME ON GIRLS. Not everyone can be a slut. Now I know that recently some of our younger girls have decided that they want that itched scratched…but really. Little Jimmy has enough room for two sluts. (That’s me and Ginger Spice). Now it seemed that Skank Nurse decided that Air Budd wanted her nasty va-jay-jay. We all know that the only va-jay-jay that Air Budd wants is mine. People need to back up off my man and let him get to know me.

iii. Alright, let me do a history lesson for you. Who else remembers the days when Religious Boy would get together with his fellow Tomkats and throw a wicked party which would end with him hooking up with someone random? I remember those days and from what I hear so does Ginger Spice. Yeah that’s right bitch I heard about you, Religious Boy and a certain school officials desk. Don’t feel special he’s done it with me…Alright back on the topic at hand. Well it seems that ever since a certain dead beat dad was finally locked up, Tootie decided to step in and assist Religious Boy. (Now that I wouldn’t assist a naked, sweaty Religious Boy). But now it seems that she’s changed him. I’ve got photo’s of the pair enjoying lunch together and the entire time Religious Boy did not take his eyes off of Tootie. Has she caught his eye and can she hold it? I can think of a few girls that haven’t had their hands on that Boy and those girls hope this is a passing fling.

iv. IT SEEMS LIKE GINGER SPICE IS A STEP CLOSER TO STRONGHOLD. I witnessed this train wreck myself. It seems that while Stronghold taught Ginger Spice baseball…she was able to get his baseball bat really hard. LIKE REALLY HARD. I timed Stronghold and it took him twenty minutes to calm down his bad and baseballs. Hopefully Ginger Spice will dump him and move on to me. Get in touch with me baby.

v. So I was stalking some of my favorite hot boys on myspace. And I noticed that two of my favorite hotties were now listed at single. Do you wanna know who they are? I know you do. So the two guys are none other than Air Budd and McSteamy. Just so you two boys know…I am always here to offer my expertise to my two favorite boy.

vi. Okay this is my last one. And really this is because I want to see the look on the girls face when she hears about this. So Care Bear, I know about you and Wentz. And I just want you to know how supportive I am of you two. Because really when you look life you only find one person that you want to be with. It’s like finding your lobster, because you know lobsters only find one mate. It’s true you can see old lobsters walking on the ocean floor holding claws. But I’m glad you found Wentz…but what about Skank Nurse? Did you know that Skank Nurse and Wentz have done the dirty. Yup. I tell you know lie. How messed up is Wentz for hooking up with that whore? Keep me informed about you two…I can boil a pot of water if we need to throw his ass in.

…SIGHTINGS…

         i.            i. WELL WELL WELL. It seems that maybe Religious Boy is at least holding his old habits. Now I know where he has been sneaking off too in the middle of the day. It seems that Religious Boy, McSteamy, and Boy Genius were seen in a field drinking and smoking illegal substances. Now I knew that Religious Boy and McSteamy did drugs and I have noticed that they both have been hitting it pretty hard. But Boy Genius? That’s a let down. What would Tootie say if she knew about you three?

ii. NASCARt, Religious Boy, and Wonder Boy. Now those three don’t seem like an odd group to have drama BUT a nearly naked NASCARt and a drunk Religious Boy and a peeping tom Wonder Boy might bring around some drama. Did someone get their cherry popped or did someone just sign up to have cement get poured into their danger zone?

iii. Bolton and drugs? Yeah it seems that this boy is on a roller coaster ride straight for a wall. Unless he learns to make doing drugs ‘cool’ like Religious Boy has done. I’ll be keeping Bolton in my thoughts because if I ever catch him passed out at a party…I am so jumping on that. Phew. I want to rob that cradle. 

…NICKNAME KEY…

Lindsey Kilcher :: Kilroy
Beauregard Kione :: Air Budd
Keleigh Carmichael :: Skank Nurse
Ryan McGovern :: McSteamy
Simon Sivosky :: Bolton

Drugs...Spiders...Cat Fights...and Me Being Dramatic...

I was walking around school and I saw one of those stupid signs put up by the ‘Baptist Student Ministry’ and it talked about a flock of sheep and I started to think. I said ‘Self, the students of Jackson High are like your flock of sheep and you’ve become their Sheppard’. The thought of being the leader of a group of stupid animals made me smile. (not that I would ever call my flock stupid, at least not to your face. *kiss*) But before I move on to the hot gossip, I wanted to share some fan mail. Without further ado I picked this out of the few I got. I loved it that much.

DJL--
Keep it coming. Little Jimmy needs and outsider judging. Even if you do happen to be a total insider.
Sincerely,
ADA
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ADA—
First off, thanks for being a loyal reader and not being one of those skanky female Seniors (you know who you are Senior Barbie) who take my gossip and pretend they knew first. I have a blog bitches…you don’t. Second, this letter moved me…but not enough to tell the world about you babe.
<<3 DJL

I love fanmail. Keep it coming babies! Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…now to the relatively warm gossip…

1. Now I’ve never been one for drugs. Well not like a few Little Jimmy Lifers and nearly every HTA that comes to this town. (Oh yes, Mary Jane. I’m talking about you. Whore. <<3.) Some kids in this town say they just use with friends but in my opinion some kids have enough issues that they should be high twenty four/seven. You know who you are. Anyway. Never in my days on this earth would I ever think that the Baby Cherub would ever attempt to do something ‘naughty’. But word on the street. (AKA word sent to me by two Jackson High Classmates). Tells me that Baby Cherub was seen with Coke Boy at her party. Which I was unable to attend seeing as I don’t like that Coke fiend. (Sorry babe). I’m not sure what Brother Cherub and Daddy Cherub would say if they found out about her new addiction. (could be cocaine could be Coke Boy, either way I could totally see her going to rehab. Don’t worry, I’ll send you postcards…well not really)
2. OMG. Did any of you witness the bitch fit that Junior Barbie threw!? I mean Carebear would have been knocked out if she threw a spider that looked like that on me. I mean are they even native to Texas? I bet that crazy girl ordered that thing offline. She always did seem like the one to snap and start attacking random people. (Not that I don’t love you Carebear, but you might want to stay away from the mentally unstable girls, go after someone like Baby Cherub…she might need the distraction from her cell in rehab. Oh and Junior Barbie…hooked up with anymore guys lately? I’m keeping a tally on my favorite HOmies.)
3. I don’t really have a lot of issues with my next person. But I wanted to bring her up because well, she can get on my nerves. But then again who doesn’t? I want some information on Little Jimmy’s own NASCAR driver…though for now I’ll call her NASCARt. Since she’s not driving herself, legally anyway. Is it bad that I have fifty dollars on something happening to her this year? Drugs? Drinking? OMG Teen Pregnancy? I am totally against having our lives look like a cheap made for TV movie but at least I know that a baby wouldn’t happen to anyone who deserved if more than NASCARt. Well maybe not her. But maybe someone she was related to or close to her.

Let’s Recap…well basically I’m looking forward to seeing if four girls and a guy end up being sent to rehab or maybe a free clinic. (Who knows with Mary Jane and Coke Boy). Oh well. I’ve done my duty. Now it’s time to sit back, relax and watch something interesting. The footage of atomic bombs falling? Possibly. Well until I hear more gossip from you, my readers. I’ll be away. Maybe I can visit Cancun or something and you guys will finally come to help me with the downfall of your friends and lab partners.

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Keep things interesting. I don’t want to get bored on the job.
Stay Classy James Jackson High,
-DJL
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Nickname Key
Baby Cherub :: Analiese De'Angel
Coke Boy :: Zack DeVine
NASCARt :: Amy Jackson

...James Jackson High...
I have Arrived

    Yes, you can all finally take a breath and relax. I'm here. You can call me DJL (and for those of you on the football team...that means Davy Jones' Locker) It seems that our small high school needed a savior to report to the masses what really is going on behind closed doors. I was sitting around in my room, after hearing about the scandal with one of cattle science teachers and a student and I asked myself. I said, 'Self why doesn't someone report the latest gossip in one place so that everyone in Little Jimmy can find out what's really happening.
    So being the lovely, wonderful person that I am I decided to create a livejournal and post blogs and information online about the hottest topics. I know, you should love me for being so kind. Here are just a few guidelines you need to remember...

1.       I love to hear from the people, because that's what I am here for. Whenever you see or hear anything that you think everyone should know. Send me a PM on Little Jimmy so that I can know about it. If I deem the story to be worth more than just a post it on my desk. Then you will be contacted.

2.       Everything will be kept anonymous. Believe me, if you send me something. I will keep your name out of it. All I care about is who was involved and what they did.

3.       Don’t be upset if you don’t see your news posted on my blog. Maybe I’m just waiting for the gossip to get hotter before taking it off the stove.

4.       If you see your name on my site, please don’t PM asking me to take you off. The world needs to know and I’m just giving the people what they want.

5.       Don’t waste your time trying to figure out who I am. I could be anyone. That girl sitting next to you in the computer lab or the guy who partners with you in Biology. You have your secrets I have mine. <3

6.       Just like most people my mind changes and this is my blog. You need to check back constantly and send me PM's all the time so that I feel loved. <3 Anything and Everything on this page is subject to change.

Just remember kiddies, even when you think that nobody is watching will be the moment someone snaps a picture and sends it to me. New school year, new friends, new pencils, new notebooks, and fresh drama. God I love this town. But not as much as you love me.

Keep things interesting. I don’t want to get bored on the job.
Stay Classy James Jackson High,

-DJL